this life

"This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonder-struck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you" Taylor Swift

taylor is so lucky...she can express exactly what she wants to say in lyrics that are so beautiful with so much truth. in our lives, i wonder how many ppl have something to say but never actually say it? i know for me there have been so many times that i just wanna say something out LOUD but i dont, i keep it to myself. i dont know if i am more afraid of someone's reaction or my own.
there have been many ppl, especially boys come in and out of my life that i never really got to say what i wanted to say to them. over the years i have been more open but i guess i was always more closed off in saying what i really wanted to and just said what they wanted to hear. my sophomore year i finally stood up for myself and said exactly what i wanted to say and i saw the impact it made. honesty is strange and hard to take, but it opens eyes more than anything and makes you think about situations, yourself, others and exactly what you are doing!

"And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed
We can plan for a change in weather and time
I never planned on you changing your mind" Taylor Swift

I always wonder if those guys, that were oh so important to me once in my life, ever think about me/us now? in my past i would usually let a guy take advantage of me and my kindness and do absolutely anything for him...and in return would just be let down and heart broken. then a couple weeks later i would hear from him, saying that they realize now what they lost. isnt that the worst thing a boy can say to you...."now i realize what i lost, i see now just how good you were to me."

i hate that line!!!

"So here's to everything, coming down to nothing
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core
Where is this going? Thought I knew for a minute
But I don't anymore" Taylor Swift

i think the most important thing of all, is through all the relationships i have been in, i know myself. and stay true to me, or atleast have since my last long relationship. i learned that you should never change for a guy, never alter a part of you to fit someone, because that guy should love you for who you are. he should love your imperfections and never want them to become perfect because they are what make you who you are!

and bottom line..it's all about having faith for that someday...and until then, just having FUN! :)