the gAmEs we PLAy

how do we know if we're ever playing games with people?

and

how do we know if people are playing games with us?

it seems as if the world is all messed up and no one can get out of the mindset of playing games.

and nobody wants to be played with, so they play games too so that they aren't the one being played.

and.... are we really playing games with others, or are we just playing games with ourselves?

for me i always have a hard time making up my mind. sometimes i am one way and other times i am the complete opposite. i allow others to influence my thoughts and perceptions. i wish i was stronger than that and didn't let it happen.

i have been hanging with a guy and i have been on and off about my decision on whether or not i still want to
so he tells me that i need to make up my mind because he doesnt have time to play games
so i ask him, if we keep hanging out will it be exclusive or not?
he says im not trying to exclusive


that right there is a game to me. he wants to hang out with me but wants to hang out with other people too, keep his options open for something better that may come around.
i am too jealous of a person to just sit back and hang out with someone, start to like him, and then see him with someone else the next day. i know he is being straight forward and people think by doing that they are in the clear but that's still not cool.

i wanna be one of those girls sometimes who don't give a shit about what guys are doing with other girls than me but that's just not me.


i do care about being exclusive and being with someone for the right reasons and i want to get back on that track. i will. i just need to not text when im drunk :)